Who Writes These Shenanigans?
by ElfCollaborator
Summary: Elf Collaborator, the prankster shipper on deck. Gin Overkite, the man with a kite and the white rose. Merik Flame, the pyromanic hotshot kohai. Aya Oda, the mysterious snarky guy. Together, they make team COMA! And beat up Sues! And break the fourth wall! And stuff! Woo, I guess? Parody, crack, credit to every author who shows up in this fic. Rated K for antics.
1. Literal Sue-Bashing!

**Who Writes These Shenanigans?!**

**A/N: Welcome, one and all, to this unusual story. Now, I know you guys probably wanted a Weiss Reacts today, but this was an idea I've been waiting for weeks to do. And by weeks, I literally mean I forgot to ask the authors involved in these shenanigans for their blessing to feature them for weeks and only remembered now. This is also inspired by Hunterinahat's 'Beacon Open House', with a similar premise; go read it because my crappy writer self is in it and you can laugh at me. :P**

**Well, enjoy your...well, I don't know what to call this, a self-insert parody crack shipping fic? Yeah, let's call it that. Yeah!**

**Shoutouts to G.N Over-Kite, A0D and merikflame for allowing me to feature their awesomeness in this fic!**

**DISCLAIMER: RWBY belongs to Rooster Teeth, otherwise I would totally feature Monty himself here (sadly, doing this without permission is kinda bad and rude and I feel guilty)**

**All mentioned franchises belong to their respective owners.**

* * *

One very totally boring afternoon in Beacon...

A blue-skinned man in ninja garb was leaning by the wall of a Dust shop. He looked like any other crappy cosplayer, but little did anyone know...

This was his true face. Not only this, but this was the true face of a god, descending upon Vytal's unworthy streets.

For this blue ninja was ElfCollaborator, shipper on deck extraordinaire, reactor to fics, creator of the psychotic Velvet and Weiss pairing, worshipper of Simon as the TRUE god of TTGL, and new convert to the cult of Mami Tomoe, High Prophet of Early Deaths. Oh, and did he mention, worshipper of Weiss' delicious flat chest? He did.

And, of course, secret superhero! It was true- on his spare time, when he wasn't bringing horrible terror to people by shipping everything with everything, or shipping everything with everything, or writing horrible White Rose lemons he never published, he patrolled the streets of Vytal, blending in with all the subtlety of a cat treading on piano keys.

He was waiting to meet with his partners-in-crime and fanfic-writing.

Gin Over-Kite, ever the reliable one, Elf's backup, oldest partner, and the person he acquired his beloved White Rose shipping from- indeed, Elf couldn't live without White Rose any more than Nora could live without pancakes.

Merik Flame, the badass firebrand who'd declared Elf his sempai, who followed in Elf's footsteps by perpetuating the cause of the Psychotic Snow Bunny ship- Elf's new word for a yandere Velvet-Weiss pairing.

Finally, Aya Oda, the mysterious, hooded person and their latest ally in crime, and secret fan-person of the wonderful Bartholomew Oobleck.

Together, they made team COMA!

"...in hindsight...that was a terrible name." Elf mumbled, finished praying to Tomoe-san to preserve his life and not let him die early from one of Nora's shenanigans or something.

"...yep, terrible name." He sighed, flipping a coin. "Where in the name of Monty-"

Suddenly, 'Ride of the Valkyries' blared from...a nearby speaker, advertising Wagner's famous opera in a theatre nearby. Elf looked up to see two people.

One was an adolescent boy, with brown hair in a plain-grey shirt and jeans, riding upon a pegasus made from flame. The other was a man with glasses and black hair, with a stout frame and a blue buttoned shirt over a white t-shirt and brown khakis, a fluorescent kite permanently covering his face; his glasses went over it- while holding a similar kite.

"Gin! Merik! So glad you could make it." Elf laughed.

"Elf, this better be important." Merik, the teenager, sighed. "I was busy loving Nanako! She's so adorable~"

"What's so important that you're not writing Weiss Reacts?" Gin, the other person, tilted his head. "I know you love writing that."

"I'll brief you all when Aya-" A loud boom was heard from behind, as the three writers turned to see a sleek, black motorcycle, with a robed person riding it, their face hidden by their hood, showing only two glowing yellow eyes, peering out of it and ahead. When they locked eyes with the shipper, they began to brake, turning their cycle to the side, facing Elf.

"Sorry I'm late." Aya brushed their hood of some dead insects. "You know how it is."

"Excellent, team COMA's all here!" Merik cheered.

"Can we not call it that, please?" Aya muttered.

"So, what was it again, Elf?" Gin turned to Elf, who shrugged, pulling out a scroll, with a live feed on it of a headquarters of the White Fang.

"Yeah, what about the White Fang?" Aya tilted his head.

"Remember, you guys are in the Reactsverse right now, right?" Elf nodded. "Good. Some poor author's decided he can write a self-insert of himself into MY universe."

"Uhuh." Gin nodded. "What's the insert like?"

"Typical. Dragon Faunus, met Weiss, Ruby, Yang and Blake when they were kids, his weapon's ripped off Tomoe-san's muskets with a chainsaw bayonet, AND his Semblance is essentially being invincible forever. And he's named something like 'Jonathan' or something like that." Elf facepalmed- he really hated reading about these Sues, and some fool of an author thought he could write one into the Reactsverse, apparently.

"Right, so, you're, like, the Reactsverse god, right?" Merik noted. "Why can't you wipe him out yourself?"

"Well, the author came in with him." Elf sighed. "His Sue-ishness is JUST enough to counter the power I gain from shipping."  
"So, lemme get this straight, we're self-inserting," Aya gestured with their gloved hands. ",to beat a self-insert and their Sue creator?"  
"Yes. And you three are self-inserting. I already exist as a separate entity from the real Elf." Elf shrugged.

Gin interjected. "Actually, I'm also a different person from the real G.N. Over-Kite-"  
"And I'm not really merikflame, just his avatar-"

"D'you think I look like this in real life?" Aya facepalmed.

"You get my point!" Elf sighed. "We're just avatars with author powers fighting against the powers of Sues. Not self-inserts. "

"Excellent." Gin stretched his hands. "So, when do we go?"

"Now." Elf looked around to make sure nobody saw them- they would probably be mistaken from cosplayers to one of the various conventions in Vytal that day anyway- and lead the way to the warehouse.

"After all, what could possibly go wrong?" Merik cheerily reminded everyone.

* * *

"This went HORRIBLY wrong!" Merik shouted, crouching behind a crate. Elf was nowhere to be seen, the White Fang was hailing bullets on them, Aya was trying to get a shot of his Semblance off, but every time he tried to focus enough, a couple of stray bullets made him sit back down, and Gin's Semblance was useless here.

"You think?" Aya shouted over. "I can't even clear them out!"

"Elf, I swear!" Gin shouted over the din. "If we get out of this alive, I am going to kill you!"

"Where'd he go again?" Merik shouted over.

"I don't know!" Aya shouted back.

The White Fang pressed their advantage, attempting to force the three down with suppressive fire and superior numbers...when suddenly-

"PAAAAANCAKE!"

"What?!" Gin looked up over the crate he was hiding behind to see a very large barrel of pancake mix descend upon the unfortunate White Fang members shooting at them, knocking them unconscious and out of the way.

"Did Elf just..." Merik tilted his head.

"Oh god, not another antic." Aya's palm met his face for the umpteenth time that day.

Elf was sitting on top of it, laughing maniacally. "Who knew Pancake Land kept their stuff here?"

"You certainly took your sweet time." Aya remarked.

"Elf, if you do that again, I'm going to kill you." Gin muttered.

"What?" Elf pouted under his mask. "I saved you all with an antic! Not that you couldn't handle yourselves anyway!"

"Before we get into another stupid argument, weren't we here to beat up a Sue and their Suethor?"

"Ah, right." Elf tapped a finger on the barrel. "Yep, we're doing that now." He jumped down from the barrel, swinging his weapon; Crimson Blaze, a Dust-firing bow that he'd written in for a different fic- around to his front. Merik just clicked his fingers and fire appeared in them, while Aya and Gin just readied themselves.

"Guys, you ready?" The teen felt pumped.

"Yep." Gin swung his kite into his hands, as it suddenly hardened into a large mix between a kite-shield and a minigun.

Aya shrugged.

Elf chuckled. "I guess we should totally do our team motto."  
"Yeah!" Merik nodded.

"No." Aya grumbled.

"Well, since we're having fun, why not?" Gin shrugged. "Let's do it."  
"I miss it when Gin was sane too..." The robed person facepalmed.

"I AM sane!"

* * *

Jonathan Hughes, dragon Faunus and leader of the White Fang, and childhood friend-turned lover of Weiss, was readying his plan to take over Beacon and retrieve the love of his life, Weiss Schnee, from the foolish Beacon teachers keeping her there.

Ever since he'd met her when he was young, he knew she was the one for him, but always, situations kept her away from him. Now, though, it was his time.

All he needed was moments and-

Suddenly, the small light above him shining over his map of Beacon shut off.

"Huh?" He tilted his head. "Who goes there?" He drew his musket-bayonet thingy.

"Prepare for trouble!" A voice called out from the shadows.

"And make it quadruple!"

"To protect all fics from Sue-ification!"

"To unite all shippers within our nation. Yay." This voice sounded more bored.

"To denounce the evils of Sues and haters!"

"To extend our love to the fans everywhere!"

"Elf!"  
"Merik!"  
"Gin!"

"Aya."

The four called out in unison. "Team Antic, blast off at the speed of plot!"

"Surrender now, or prepare to fight!"

Vivi, the living Weiss plushy, appeared from nowhere.

"Pipipipi! Pipipipi!"

"Adorable..." Merik and Gin said in unison, squeeing at the plushy, who waved at them.

Jonathan laughed. "And who are you, precisely?"  
"We're a bunch of reputable authors!" Gin declared proudly.

"And I'm the author of THIS world!" Elf added.

"And we've come to make sure Sues like you stay out of it!" Merik shouted defiantly.  
"And I've come with popcorn." Aya said, eating out of a small popcorn box he'd brought.

The Sue laughed in their faces. "You four must be insane. Please, my author will totally kick your asses if you're some sort of counter-Sue." Behind them, a squeeing girl was standing, laughing her head off.

Elf sighed. "You've got to be kidding me. If she dares call herself a fangirl, she'll be a disgrace to REAL fangirling!"

"You know what real fangirling is?" Merik looked over at him.

"I dabble in it from time to time!" Elf protested. "What? Simon is too manly for anyone to fanboy over him..."

"Uh, guys." Aya pointed at Jonathan. "Angry Sue and his insane author. Right there. Need to kick out of the Reactsverse."

"Oh, right." Elf cleared his throat. "As it so happens, I disapprove of you writing your crap into my world!"

The 'fangirl' laughed right back at him. "Silly! This is RWBY, not the Reactsverse! Stupid! I can write what I like! And I think Weiss would totally fit Jonathan! They were MADE for each other!"

"...far gone?" Gin looked to Merik, who nodded.

"Far gone."

Elf sighed. "Very well. Team, attack!"

The girl pointed at them. "Jonathan, use your Semblance! Nobody gets in the way of MY pairings!"  
Elf shouted back in defiance. "You tried to break up White Rose, you monster!"

"Ruby doesn't fit her!"

The shipper gasped. "Take that back!"

Meanwhile, Merik collided with Jonathan in battle, fire clashing with bullets from the Sue's musket. The Sue's hands glowed as he threw back the teen with an unseen force into nearby crates, laughing.

"I'm invincible AND telekinetic!"

Aya sighed. "I'll handle this." He pointed at the Sue. "Aura Drain."

Suddenly, the Sue felt his Aura drain completely- a foreign feeling, as no fight had ever made him lose Aura.

"W-what?!"  
"Idiot." Aya grumbled. "Authors beat Sues. Gin!"

"Got it." Gin let loose with his shield-kite-cannon, spraying the Sue with...paintballs? Yes, of course. They weren't going to kill a Sue, just beat them up for interfering.

The Sue, of course, had no recourse but to attempt to brace himself as the paintballs slammed against him, bruising him.

"Ow! Hey! Stop! That isn't fair! Stop! No!"

"WHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I AM BULLETPROOF!" Gin roared as he pelted Jonathan with paintballs.

Aya sighed as he went over to heal Merik with the Aura he'd absorbed. Meanwhile, Elf turned to the Suethor.

"You can't even make a proper Sue! Seriously, one Aura Drain and he's down?!"  
"S-shut up! You know nothing about writing!" The Suethor protested.

"And yet you thought it was a good idea to write a Sue into MY alternate universe?" Elf sighed. "I take pity upon you. But...in the name of Simon the Digger, Mami Tomoe and Weiss' Delicious Flat Chest..." He drew a large hammer with computer monitors forming the head, the screens saying 'ban' in large, green letters.

"I commit you back to whence you came, Suethor scum!" With a dainty tap on the head from the hammer, Elf sent the Suethor away from his Reactsverse fics forever. Jonathan disappeared with his author, leaving the group alone. The White Fang members would wake up, their memories of the last couple of hours forgotten and would return to just being a goldfish poop gang instead of a real threat.

Aya nodded. "Excellent. Yet another Suethor and her Sue sent back to whence they came."

"Yay! We won." Merik cheered. "It kinda sucks that I didn't get a big part in the fic, though."  
"I felt pretty badass back there, quoting the Heavy." Gin laughed.

Elf put his large banhammer away into hammerspace. "Excellent. Well...shall we get pancakes?"  
Aya shrugged. "Sure, why not?"  
"Eh." Gin shrugged as well. "I got time to kill before I gotta check back with my author about Yet Another Weiss Christmas Story. I hear the next chapter is going to be amazing~"  
"Hey, Elf-sempai, tell your author to go read merikflame's new Velvet Obsession chapter!"

"I'll do it." Elf nodded. "For now, though, pancakes!"

And so they went for pancakes.

Team COMA would liberate many other RWBY fanfics from Suethors and Sues, but...for now, this was it.

Elf, however, realised that if he just called over his good friends LSD-chan and the Half-Blind Otaku, they would have had fun too.

And facepalmed at his own stupidity.

Ah, well, perhaps another time.

* * *

**END**

* * *

**A/N: Shout outs to Madoka Magica, Gurren Lagann, Gmod Idiot Box, Team Fortress 2, Pokemon, and, of course, the following authors: merikflame, G.N. Over-Kite, A0D as Elfy's team, and Half-Blind Otaku and Little Sun Dragon-Chan as cameos at the end! And of course TvTropes.**

**This will probably stay as a oneshot, really. :P**

**Well, a shout-out, again, to all the authors mentioned in this story- except the fictional Suethor and her Sue, who were completely made up for this story, no harm intended to real authors- and their stories, go read them instead of this crap!  
**

**I hope you guys liked this, leave your reviews, criticism, ideas, thoughts, suggestions and comments, and I hope you have a great day!**


	2. Gin's Birthday Escapade!

**Who Writes These Shenanigans: Birthday Edition!**

**A/N: Welcome, one and all, to Weiss Re-I mean, Who Writes These Shenanigans! Now, I know, earlier in the week, that I wrote G.N Over-Kite a little birthday gift involving reacting to his story 'Yet Another Weiss Christmas Story'. Well, I'm just too generous- this chapter is dedicated to G.N Over-Kite as it is his birthday today! Woo! Yeah! Happy birthday, mate!**

**Also, credit to the following authors; merikflame, A0D, ScytheReaper, Half-Blind Otaku, G.N Over-Kite and Dagger of Faith for agreeing to show up in the story today. They're all awesome, go read their stories instead of this random crap. I'm serious.**

**Well, enjoy!**

**DISCLAIMER: RWBY belongs to Rooster Teeth, otherwise there would be a parody Sue within RWBY.**

**All mentioned franchises and stories belong to their respective owners.**

* * *

"It's your birthday today?" ElfCollaborator tilted his head at Gin. The latter's head was obscured by the fluorescent green kite that acted as his face, but Elf could tell that if his face was visible, he'd be giving him a deadpan look.

"Yes, Elf."

"Dude, you're the one who bought out the place for it." Merik pointed around- they were standing in the Schnee Convenient Function Venue Building, complete with White Rose banners, several signs with 'Happy 25th birthday!" and several gifts already stood there, ready for opening. There was even a large cake in the shape of the fluorescent kite he carried around, with the number 25 used as a candle.

All of them were bought and paid for by Elf himself- he was hosting the birthday party in the Reactsverse as there were no such convenient venues in Gin's worlds and Aya and Merik refused to let Elf in theirs after what happened the LAST time he went- it ended with the Weiss of each of their universes waking up in bed, naked with a drunken, naked Ruby, and Blake hopped up on catnip- among other things.

Aya facepalmed. "Elf...how can you be so stupid?"

"I forget things!" The doppelganger protested.

"Nice to know you forgot one of your apparent best friends' birthdays..." Gin sighed.

"In my defence, I've been busy watching my author write crappy OCs in an attempt to make better ones than the Sue-ish crap he sees!"

"Or you're just an idiot." Aya added in a deadpan manner.

"Who else are we waiting for, anyway?" Merik looked around, scratching his head.

Elf shrugged. "Just a couple of others' author avatars, they shouldn't be long."

"Have you ever wondered why so many things around here are branded 'Schnee'? They apparently sell everything here." Aya wondered as he picked up a Schnee-brand vase, pointed at a SchneeVision TV- forty inch flatscreen!- and tapped a pair of Schnee Labs speakers.

"Because they're clearly an evil corporation that make everything!" Merik concluded.

"Nah, it's because Elf's too lazy to make another company that makes things." Elf grumbled.

"Riiight." Aya sighed, his glowing yellow eyes narrowing. "We might as well get-"

"I-is Gin Overkite here?"

"Huh?" The four members of team COMA-

"Are we STILL keeping that name?!" Aya complained.

"It's a good name!" Merik added helpfully.

"I prefer team GAME." Gin offered.

"Shush guys, we've got plot." Elf hushed everyone up with a finger.

Anyway, the four members of team COMA turned around to see a lone girl with an all-too small shirt, depicting a large green fluorescent kite, a large placard with Gin's emblem; his signature fluorescent kite flying over the Moon- emblazoned on it, and a blush on her face.

"You a fangirl?" Aya inquired.

"Yep! Where's Gin?" The fangirl asked.

"Over there..." Merik pointed over at Gin, who was whispering quietly to his kite.

"Yes, my Florence...we will rule them all...hahahah! The world will be mine! Mine! MINE-"  
"Oh my god! It's G-Gin Overkite! Y-you're like my hero!" The fangirl squeed.

'_Dammit, Florence. Later.'_ He sighed and turned towards her. "What do you want-"  
"Like, oh my kami-sama! You're more kawaii than I thought!" The girl hugged Gin tightly.

"Uh...thanks, I guess?" His kite face gave nothing away.

"I koi you so much!"

"...did she just use crappy Japanese?" Merik twitched.

"Hey, girls! Gin-sama is here!" The fangirl hollered out of the door and a large group of similar girls piled in, smashing the other three author avatars out of the way and glomping Gin.

"Ooof!" Aya fell over, her hood flying off. Elf looked over, tilting his head.

"Aya, you're a girl?!"

"Uh, didn't you notice?" The girl brushed her long brown hair out of her no-longer glowing eyes. It seemed the hood granted them luminance.

"...b-but your chest was WAY too flat! I like flat chests, but..."  
"Pervert." Aya stood up and kicked Elf in the face, her sizeable chest having seemingly appeared from nowhere.  
"Ow!"

"Yeah, Elf, how didn't you notice?" Merik crawled over from the large group of fangirls hugging Gin. "We went on a skiing trip together, like, in the backstory of this fic! Which doesn't exist, but yeah!"  
He held up a picture, where an unmasked Aya, Gin, Elf and Merik were posing in front of a ski lodge located in Generitopia, Europe.

"...now that you mention it, Aya IS a girl's name...and she DID sound pretty girlish...but I thought she just had a girly voice actor!" Elf shrugged.

"You idiot, we're in a fanfic! We don't have voice actors, dimwit!" The girl sighed. "...how in Dust did I end up in your team again?"

"Elf's author asked really nicely and promised to pay you in cake." Merik clarified.

"Ah. Still not worth it."

"Guys!" Gin waved his hand over the din of fangirls. "I kinda need help!"

"Uh, why?" Elf called over.

"They're going to-"  
"TAKE HIM AWAY, GIRLS!" The lead fangirl called out and pointed across the three author avatars, as the other fangirls ripped Florence, Gin's kite, out of his hands and tied him up, shoving a rag into his mouth.

"Noooo! Florence! Mmmmmpppphh!"

"Dammit, today of all days?!" Merik sighed and prepared to redirect the fangirls with a wall of fire.

Elf and Aya, seeing the inherent stupidity in trying to stop a wave of fangirls, merely stepped out of the way, Elf grabbing Crimson Blaze, his Dust bow, and Viridian Sonata, the metal yoyo he'd borrowed- by that, he meant stole- from one of his other OCs. Aya merely flipped through a small spellbook she carried around.

"Guys?!" Merik looked to his left, before he was trampled by fangirls carrying Gin out of the venue.

"Ow! Dammit, Elf, why am I the butt monkey in your story?!"

The fangirls were chanting as they boarded a bus and began to drive off. "ALL HAIL THE OVER KITE FOR HE IS GOOD AND KAWAII"

"MMMPHPPPHHH MPPPHMPPPMH MMMMMPPPPH!" Gin screamed through the rag.

"What was that he said?" Elf tilted his head.

"Either 'DAMMIT HELP ME GUYS' or 'MY HOVERCRAFT IS FULL OF EELS'." Aya noted, tracing her finger through the spellbook. "Ah, here we go. Sehe Dass Nicht!" She pointed her finger at the front of the bus, and suddenly, Slenderman, in all his eldritch glory, appeared.

"What the hell? How does 'Don't See That' in German summon Slenderman?!" Merik looked on in surprise.

"Elf's crappy German translation of 'Don't Look', one of A0D's fanfics about Slendy murdering all the RWBY characters." Elf clarified.

"Ah."

"I'd like to see them try to escape-"  
"OH MY KAMI-SAMA SLENDY-CHAN!" The fangirls screamed and rushed out of the bus, cuddling Slenderman. The suited abomination was too surprised to do anything when they bundled him onto the bus too, before driving off.

Aya just looked on, twitching. "What..."  
"They're fangirls. Let's get a move on!" Merik whistled and his flaming pegasus flew in from the sky, Ride of the Valkyries blaring. He clambered on, before flying in pursuit of the bus.

Elf hollered while grabbing Gin's Florence, and a giant paper airplane appeared from nowhere. He jumped in and it spontaneously lifted up and flew off after Merik.

Aya sighed and went onto her motorcycle, plopping on her hood- which acted as protective headgear- and revved it up to pursue the bus.

* * *

Elf and Merik flew side by side, Aya not far below, as they pursued the bus. Aya's Slenderman was in the back window, a gag on his face- though he lacked a mouth- and his tentacles and arms bound, next to Gin.

"Right, Merik, Aya! I have a plan!" Elf called out.

"What is it?!"

"On my count of five, we disengage from the bus!"

"WHAT?!" Merik stared at him like he was insane- which he most likely was.

"Are you stupid, Elf? We're going to let the fangirls get away!" Aya protested.  
"Trust me! I have a surprise!"

"...it's going to be a stupid antic, I know this." Aya sighed and began to slow down.

"Fine..." Merik petted his pegasus softly, causing it to slow down as well.

Elf nodded, before holding out his hand with fingers extended, closing one finger for each count. "One...two...three...four...five!" He flew up, Merik flew sideways and Aya swerved to stop her motorcycle, just in time for the front tires of the bus to explode, from seemingly nowhere. A large wall of ink appeared in the way to stop the bus, and finally a wave of energy appeared to push the bus back.

"Huh?!" Merik looked on, confused.

"Did Elf just..." Aya inquired, but the doppelganger shook his head.

"Not me. Friends." He motioned out as three people emerged from the smoke left from the explosion.

One was a black-haired man, in a very expensive looking bespoke suit and black leather gloves, a tube of razor floss in his hand, his eyes obscured by black, shiny shades. On his wrist was a small Chieri Sono doll and he was wearing a utility belt. He had a slightly satisfied look on his face.

Another was a tall looking pale girl with long, ebony hair and hazel eyes. She looked just out of teenhood, and wore blue jeans, a black baseball hat with 'Detroit' emblazoned on it, and a black shirt with a winking yellow face on the back. In her hand was a quarterstaff with a pen nib on the end, dripping ink.

The final challenger was tall himself, with wide shoulders, dirty-blond hair, and with curvy hips. His blue eyes were behind glasses, and he was wearing black slacks, a blue shirt and a white jacket, which looked seemed to fit him snugly. In his hand was a scythe with two edges, the handle tapering away from the blade elegantly before the blade, which was thin and elegantly crafted.

"Team COMA, meet my other friends Faith, the Otaku and Reaper-senpai." Elf pointed over at them.

"At last, I finally got to use this." The Otaku smirked, fingering his razor floss.

"Yo." Faith waved at them.

Reaper-senpai merely nodded at them.

"THESE are your friends?" Aya tilted her head.

"I have a lot of contacts."

"Pretty sweet moves they did there." Merik chuckled.

"Right, let's get the fangirls out of the way, shall we?" Elf nodded. "Otaku, open the doors."  
"Got it." He strolled across, wrenching the bus doors open, before-

"Oh, you have got to be kidding me!" He leapt out of the way as the fangirls piled out, carrying Aya's Slenderman and Gin on top.

"Faith, you know what to do." Reaper-senpai nodded as he rushed to get to the front of the pile.

"You got it." She smiled and swept her ink staff across, spraying ink and creating a large wall of solid black ink, dividing the lines of fangirls. Aya then got off her motorcycle and rushed up to them before leaping upwards, pulling Gin up by the arm and bouncing off the wall of ink with her feet, before somersaulting and landing near her cycle. She pulled out a knife and cut his bonds.

Gin rubbed his wrists and nodded. "Thanks." Elf passed him Florence, who he gladly slotted back onto his arm. "Now, my dearie, we will EAT THEIR SOULS AND CONSUME THEIR ESSENCES! WAHAHAHA-"  
"Huh?" Merik tilted his head.

"I mean, let's send these fangirls back to whence they came!"

"I've given all your weapons temporary banning privileges." Elf chuckled, before tossing Merik and Aya banhammers. "CHAAAARGE!"

Faith and Reaper-senpai nodded, swinging their weapons- non-lethally, of course- at the fangirls. The cap-clad girl leapt into a large group and spun her staff around, smacking every fangirl she hit back to the fangirl dimension. Reaper-senpai merely elegantly swung his scythe to take out bigger targets carefully.

The Otaku just hurled his floss at enemies, eliminating whole lines of them. Aya's Slenderman dropped down and was desummoned by the ban-privileged floss.

Merik and Aya went nuts, running into the group swinging their hammers, while Elf whirled his Viridian Sonata around, smashing as many as he could see. Gin merely turned Florence into a minigun, still firing paintball pellets and opened fire.

"WAHAHAHAHA!" He laughed as he shot fangirls with his minigun-kite, sending them back to the fangirl dimension.

"This...is...AWESOME!" Faith laughed.

"Yep!" Reaper-senpai chuckled right back.

"Eh, I've done better." The Otaku shrugged.

Eventually, of course, the fangirls were banned to a man; the lead fangirl, who was cowering at the might of the author avatars.

"So, does thou repent for thy misdeeds?" Faith called out.

"Y-yes! Please! Don't hurt me!"  
"...eh, you kidnapped me." Gin tapped her lightly on the head, banning her.

"Gin!" Faith looked at him weirdly.

"...I probably wouldn't have minded if they were all Red Sabers..."

"Eh, well." Elf shrugged. "PARTY TIME!"

* * *

And indeed, it was party time. There was much gift giving and much insanity; Gin received the following gifts; an Amateur Antic Master kit from Elf, complete with a signed autograph from Yang Xiao Long herself, a Kiki/Vivi shipper shirt from Merik, a Slenderman plushie from Aya, the entire boxset of the new anime Magical Girl Glitter Glynda-Chan; signed by Magical Girl!Glynda herself- from the Otaku, a Weiss plushie from Reaper-senpai- "These are the best gifts! Who could NOT love Weiss?! She is perfection!"- and a nice long book called 'The Shadow of Fire' from Faith- "Self-published and rated five stars," she'd admitted proudly.

Needless to say, there was much merriment. Until Elf got everyone covered in pancake batter again-

"ELF!" Everyone glared at the doppelganger.

"SORRY!"

* * *

**END**

* * *

**A/N: WOO UPDATE YEAH WOO!**

**Again, happy birthday, G.N Over-Kite, MY writing senpai and I hope you have a good day! Also, you should read the following stories by the following authors instead of mine; **

**-Velvet's Obsession, A Shared Mind and Weiss' Gay Panic 2.0 by merikflame**

**-The Shadow of Fire and A Silent Watchdog by Dagger of Faith,**

**-The Diary of Glynda Goodwitch, We Were Close and Magical Girl Glitter Glynda-Chan by Half-Blind Otaku**

**-Yet Another Weiss Christmas Story by G.N Over-Kite**

**-Imperfection Is To Be Expected by ScytheReaper**

**-The Everyday Life of Dr Oobleck and Don't Look by A0D**

**-And finally, the inspiration for this story, Beacon's Open House by Hunterinahat!**

**And of course if you would like to read MY stories- poor you-I advise my own Weiss Reacts, Weiss und Rammstein, my new fic A Melodic Comedy, and of course, this very fic itself.**

**Well, once again, happy birthday to GN, and I hope you all enjoyed this, leave your reviews, ideas, suggestions, thoughts and comments, and I hope you have a good day! Until next time!**


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